• I made a snowman today.
    It had awesome hair. Then the snowplow guy came by and pushed tons of snow over it. I didn't like that part.
  • I never thought I would see
    the day when there would be too much snow for my subaru to get through. Today came close. Tomorrow might just do it. It is completely awesome.
  • When I grow up I want to be
    an inventor. I have no idea what I am going to invent but it is going to be really freaking cool.
  • There is something that bothers
    me about meat you don't have to refrigerate. Like the precooked bacon they have stacked all over the grocery store. It's just weird. 
  • I think I am going to build my own
    snow machine. My neighbors might not like it but I'll just throw snowballs at them.
  • Have you ever thought about
    the phrase "in a pickle?" How do you suppose someone could come up with that? Pickles are not hollow and nothing inside a pickle but more pickle. The more I think about it the more confused I get.
  • Today I found some gravy
    in the refrigerator that expired in 2005. I was tempted to try it but then decided I shouldn't. 
  • I would look absolutely
    horrible dressed as a clown. Just thought you should know.
  • Do you think the person responsible
    for putting sprayers on sinks ever realized how much fun they are to spray people with? They are so much better at that than dish washing.
  • Don't you hate it when
    you're really tired but still too awake to go to sleep?
  • I've discovered that your nostril
    is a horrible place to get a zit.
  • If someone sends you an email
    at 3:49am on Tuesday and says says they will meet you tomorrow, does that mean they will meet you Tuesday or Wednesday? Yes, it confused me too.
  • It amuses me that the same
    psychology used on dogs also works on people. I don't know if that is good for them and bad for us or vice-versa. 
  • Talking with your mouth
    open is a lot easier than talking with your mouth closed. Go ahead, try it.
  • Earlier today I thought of something
    amazing to put here and I was going to write it down....but I forgot and now it is completely gone. Sorry about that.
  • I've noticed that people with
    all wheel drive vehicles think of snow differently than everyone else. For instance, I feel no need to shovel the driveway. The woman feels differently.
  • I can't stand those stupid
    "captcha" things that are all over the internet. I can never read the dumb things and half the time they make me feel like I need glasses.
  • It is amazing how much
    more stuff you can get done by canceling your cable. I should have thought of this years ago.
  • Winter would be a lot better
    if there were more snow and less cold. I don't know how that would work but it would be better, I promise.
  • So do we say two thousand
    ten, twenty ten, oh ten, or just 10 for 2010? My vote is for oh ten. It has a nice ring to it.
  • For Christmas, my sister got me the book
    "What's Your Poo Telling You?" She also got me a book of insults and comebacks. They are making Christmas conversations very interesting.
  • My dog thinks that since
    the whole deck is covered in snow it is ok to use the restroom on it. Eww.
  • I don't think I can take
    the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas song any more. It plays constantly at work and I think it might make my head explode. I am very glad Christmas songs only come around once a year.
  • I think sarcasm
    is best interpreted by other sarcastic people. Everyone else just looks at me funny.
  • I thought someone
    was coming in for a man-hug at lunch today. I didn't really know the guy and I am not really into the whole man-hug thing but I positioned myself to return the man-hug anyway. It turned out he wasn't going in for a man-hug after all, he was trying to say goodbye to the person behind me. Needless to say, it got really awkward after that.